How dirty is your ambition

I’m powering myself with dirty fuel, and it’s a trade-off

I have an incredible life that I couldn't have dreamt of three years ago. I moved to the UK and struggled a fair bit. But I work in tech sales, and I own my own business. It's incredible.

And yet I realise that I only do it because of dirty fuel, not clean.

Dirty fuel=ambition driven by finding meaning in achievement.

Truth be told, I would feel like I failed if I didn’t smash it at my job and grew my business in the next year. It wouldn’t be good enough if things were in status quo.

It would be even worse if one or both of those things went awry. Like, I don’t know if I’d feel good about myself if those went away.

Recently, someone asked me to imagine there is nothing left to achieve.

“You've achieved everything that you could ever want. What's next? “

And I didn't have an answer.

At this stage of my life, I don't know if I even want an answer because even if the fuel is dirty, it's still doing something for me.